The Myth of Pulling Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps

The Myth of Pulling Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps

Howdy!

If you didn’t grow up spoon-fed the American ideal of self-reliance, let me introduce you to one of its favorite tales: pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.

This phrase—equal parts impossible (you literally can't pull yourself up from your bootstraps) and revered—comes from a long tradition of rugged individualism. It’s the myth that your worth comes from needing as little help as possible. That the highest badge of honor is becoming “self-made”. And that success looks like building something from nothing, all on your own, with grit, grind, and hustle.

Don't get me wrong -  self-reliance is not all bad. We do need grit. We do need to learn how to do hard things—that’s called being an adult. 

But the playbook gets wonky when it's paired with our cultural obsession with productivity, optimization, and the never-ending quest for MORE.

Here's the truth: no one creates anything alone (hello Mother Earth and supply chains). And trying to do so often leaves us disconnected, exhausted, and wondering what’s wrong with us when things start to feel sticky or unclear.

I mean, come on with this guy's strategy - brilliant!!

It's the disconnection though that becomes the blind spot. 

The more we think "I should be able to figure this out!" or "It doesn't look like Jenny is having any problems, so what's wrong with me?" or "I can't trust anyone else to help - I always get let down.", the more we subscribe to self-reliance and close off to any potential support. Our brain literally stops looking for support and starts to look for evidence that there isn't any out there. #reticularactivatingsystem

And then, the more we try to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, the more we just end up giving ourselves a wedgie. 

Doing hard things like life transitions and stepping out of your comfort zone to follow your heart requires . . . connection.   

That’s why connection is at the core of all my work.  

Connection to your own inner guidance so you can trust yourself (& stop looking Out There for answers).

Connection to the support that helps you actually move through the sticky, tricky, and scary transitions of life.

 And connection to something larger—whether that’s the natural world, the Universe/God/Big Kahuna, a shared vision, or a community of like-hearted peeps who remind you that you’re not alone.

Because when you’re supported and rooted in yourself, you don’t just get through change—you grow through it. You create from it. You come alive in ways you didn’t know were possible.

Here are some of the ways we can work together—each one designed to (re)connect you to what matters most and support you through whatever season you’re in. Less bootstraps & wedgies, more connection & collaboration.

1:1 Mentoring – Guidance for moving through transition and answering the call of what’s next.

Retreat – Step out of daily life to reset, reconnect and open to what’s possible - private 1:1 & group retreats.

Medicine Work – Translate symptoms into signals and use them as a compass for healing.

If you’re in a season of change—or feel one coming—you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Whether you're being asked to let go, step up, or simply pause and listen, there's a way to meet it that’s rooted, resourced, and real.

If something here speaks to you, hit reply. I’d love to hear what you're navigating and help you find the kind of support that doesn’t just get you through—but brings you home to yourself in the process.