Yesterday was a rough day.
I had several situations come up that just rubbed me the wrong way AND I’m sitting at The Wall (aka Resistance). Dangerous combo. Especially if you’re married to me. I could go off at any moment, like a 4th of July firecracker that we laughed about in Missouri on our road trip up to Iowa this summer. I’m not talking a sparkler or a black cat. I’m talking the SUPER PYRO PACKAGE that requires a pickup to haul it off.
So my husband generously asked me how I was doing as we hadn’t had time to connect the day prior. I thought about how to respond. I could either blow him away with a rant (Super Pyro Package), or I could choose to be vulnerable and really tell him what was up. I’ve been on this rodeo circuit for a while, so I chose gate #2. It took several minutes to give him the low-down, as it was mixed with some tears, and admitting deep places of fear and longing for a dream that I don’t know how is going to manifest. And all of the situations that had come up the day prior all felt connected to this dream, and the not knowing.
He just listened.
He was present.
Then he said, “It sounds like you had a really rough day. Thank you for telling me about it.”
That was it.
I felt heard, seen, and “got” at a deep level. It helped to take my Super Pyro Package down to little Pop-Its. He didn’t try to fix anything, or offer solutions.
The power of being present is a priceless gift you can give someone, and it creates more connection. It lets you off the hook for having to come up with sage advice or a solution that will solve all the ailments. It also lets you rest into just BEing you, and that’s a relief.
I challenge you to try this on for yourself, and see what you find. The next time someone is talking to you about something (it can be anything!) – see if you can listen from a place of “there’s nothing here to fix”, find the place in you that's experienced the emotion they're feeling, and see what happens.
I’d love to know what you find – drop me a line!